The Struggle Bus (A Bumpy, Bouncy Ride That Never Reaches Its Destination)
Are you on the struggle bus?
Whether I was teaching Taekwondo or training clients at our gym next door, coaching basketball or getting players ready to transition to D1 sports in college, I heard it over and over again.
“Coach, I’m on the struggle bus.”
That’s okay. Everybody gets that way. Let’s learn how to get past it.
Everyone goes through times where things like work, raising a family or the day-to-day happenings that are part of being a grownup gets old but nowhere does it bother us like it does with health and fitness. It can happen elsewhere but very rarely does it make you quit your job, ignore your family or stop paying your bills. It seems to disturb us the most with our workouts and nutrition.
For some reason we’ll stop exercising and eat nothing but junk at the drop of a hat.
Chances are you’ve been there before, you’re there now or you’re going to be so let’s understand this is all part of the process and, at some point, you’ll have to deal with it.
The bottom line is – if you want to get where you want to go – you have to persevere.
When we struggle our focus should be to persist and discover the fight deep within us so we can be our best selves each and every day.
That’s a lot easier said than done. Still, we have to do something to keep going and it’s helpful to take a thousand-foot view of things. Admit you don’t actually hate everything you do and things aren’t really as bad as you think. I bet you’ll acknowledge you feel much better after you do your workout or the food you’re eating really isn’t that bad.
We’ve all said:
I struggle with my eating.
I struggle on the weekends.
I struggle finding time to do the workouts.
I’ve been fortunate to coach people all over the world and I’ve heard it in every dialect or accent you can imagine. My husband has heard me say the same things a thousand times. I’m not immune to it either. Telling me to dial 911 and get the waaambulance wouldn’t have been appreciated so I’m not going to do that to you either.
Let’s find a way to persevere that doesn’t sound like me yelling at you and shows you’ve had it in you all along.
We don’t want you to have terrible food or hate the exercise program. We’re going to make a program that works for your schedule and you’re going to get to eat foods that you love and we’ll make it work in your plans.
Still, let’s be honest, being healthy and fit takes some work. But at the same time, so does being a good parent or having a successful career. There are times you don’t want to go to work but you go anyway. There are times the kids are on your last nerve but you still keep it together.
If you’re trying to accomplish something – especially something awesome – it’s going to require a certain amount of struggle and you’re going to have to push yourself at times. You should recognize that those who succeed put the distractions aside and make the required sacrifice.
Why is it so different with health and fitness?
We’re trying to build something. Obviously, what you had wasn’t working so we need to change it. Change is difficult; it’s going to take some sacrifice, struggle and hard work but building anything, and certainly anything worthwhile, is that way.
As the great Ronnie Coleman said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.”
If we want something that isn’t what we’ve always had, then let’s get busy doing something we haven’t always done.
Remember, there’s always a “reason” not to do it – which means “excuse” – but the beautiful thing about it is you have 100% control over all of it. There’s an enormous amount of power in that statement and it’s all yours.
Exercise and eating is the one place we have complete control every single day. Funny enough, it’s the spot where we exhibit almost none. My husband has always admitted to clients, “It wasn’t because I couldn’t, it was because I didn’t.”
Let’s fix that.
For example, you may not have great choices available at a restaurant or work event but you have total control over the choices you do make.
That’s real power.
Use it to turn that “excuse not to” into the “reason I’m going to,” change “didn’t” to “did” and we’ll get ourselves back on track.
We need some strategies that will help us continue down the path we’ve set out instead of what usually happens, which is bargaining with ourselves, then blowing it off.
Let’s begin with the fact that if you want to get the job done, you’re going to have to do the work at some point.
This will help us get started:
“I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.” - John D. Rockefeller
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”- Winston Churchill
“There are no shortcuts—everything is reps, reps, reps.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Let’s face it; there are times when you’re just not into it. That’s okay. I can’t tell you the number of times I haven’t been in the mood to lift weights or do cardio but I can’t look back and find a time I regretted doing it.
As a matter of fact, in those cases, I’ve always told myself to remember just how much better I felt in order to use it the next time I start whining.
Here are a couple of things to consider:
You’re trying to accomplish something and, at times, it’s going to take some sacrifice.
You’re going to feel far better by making the sacrifice and doing what you set out to do than by availing yourself of the excuse to quit.
You’re going to realize you never regret whatever it was you missed.
Let’s look down the road and use a few real world examples to put things into perspective.
We spend plenty of time each day in what can only be characterized as unproductive endeavors. Things like social media, looking at unimportant emails or the endless stream of junk that somehow finds its way across our cellphones on a daily basis.
If you blew those off and did the work you set out to do would you look back two years from now and feel like you failed?
Would failing to stay up to date with social media, not being hip to the latest in celebrity goings-on or unaware of the hot, new gadget that’s for sale throw you into a depression?
Would you really look back two years from now – when you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do – and think it was a fair trade because social media, the latest office chit-chat or browsing the internet were totally worth blowing off the effort required to make your vision become reality?
Not a chance.
Here are a couple of quick ways we can negotiate with ourselves when we really need a kick in the butt:
Tell yourself if you do the warm-up sets and the first set of the first exercise of the workout that, if you still hate it, it’s okay to pack it up and call it a day. I think you’ll find that you not only do the entire workout but you feel great after you finish it.
Go ahead and hit your eating plan for the day and, if you feel guilty or horrible for doing so, then give yourself permission to blow your plan the very next day. I think you’re going to feel so good about yourself that you decide to keep right on going.
Remember these for next time. It won’t always keep you from having a day where you’re not feeling it but it will definitely get you a long way towards pushing through and doing what you set out to do.
My husband has made it very clear that workouts for him are just like having to go to work – the pros outweigh the cons – and that’s the only reason they get done. It’s that way for almost everyone but I still haven’t found anyone who will tell me they don’t feel good after completing one.
I know from experience the only chance you had of feeling bad is by blowing off your workout or eating plan and going crazy.
The next time you don’t feel like going, look down the road at what you want to accomplish and realize that showing up is required to reach it whether you feel like it or not.
"It takes many hours to make what you want to make. The hours don’t suddenly appear. You have to steal them from comfort." - Derek Sivers
I promise, when you do the work and achieve what you set out to do, you’ll say it was 100% worth it.
Great accomplishments take sacrifice and work. No one built a great business or achieved great heights in sport or life without it. The reason they succeeded was because they overcame the distractions and did what they needed to do. I’ll also venture to say they look back fondly on the struggle because it made the whole thing worthwhile.
I’m proud of every degree of black belt that I’ve earned but I’ll tell you now – flat out – the four years I spent getting the first one were the best. They mean the most to me and I’ll never forget them. My husband will tell you the same thing. When asked some of the reasons for his success, Henry’s Grandmaster has been famously quoted as saying, “I smiled when I didn’t feel like smiling.”
The point is, you’re going to have to get in there when you don’t feel like it but it’s doing so that will get you where you want to go.
“Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up.” - Rocky Balboa
Refuse to give up. Don’t take “no” for an answer and remember there aren’t “reasons” only “excuses.”
Anyone who turns their dreams into reality finds a way to overcome them. Everyone has something going on and no one’s immune to a case of the “blahs.” The difference is those who are successful refuse to allow it to get in the way of achieving the things they’ve set out to do.
“We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret." - Jim Rohn
"The road to nowhere is paved with excuses." - Mark Bell
"Yesterday you said tomorrow." - Unknown
Do this for yourself.
Smile when you don’t feel like smiling. Go when you don’t feel like going and you’ll feel much better having done so.
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius
We’re not looking for perfection but showing up when you don’t feel like it is as close to perfect as you can get.
And that ain’t bad at all.
Regards,
Eva
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